GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
