finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
