Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
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