Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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