I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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