Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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