Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
