Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
MIDGETS
????
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize