i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
