so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
