I wanna bring you to show and tell
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
