it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
This baby is an asshole
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
