you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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