There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
