So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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