Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
