Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
