The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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