At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize