He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize
