is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
sex in a hospital.. check
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
