i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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