So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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