Tell her she can't have a vagina
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
