he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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