if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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