so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
