he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I supernannyed him into submission
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize