Sry I called you an 8
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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