hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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