Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
