the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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