if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
