He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
He told me they were just razor bumps!
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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