How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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