Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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