Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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