I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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