First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
