Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
