Bisexual people are plain selfish.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
