I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
