you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize