dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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