He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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