Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
