i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
