Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
