So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
