Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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