Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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