Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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