You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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