my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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