my room smells like sperm. sweet.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize