yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
