We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
