and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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