we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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