The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
At least make sure they are 18
Why
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
