You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
