i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
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