she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
They took my balls.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
