In the future we'll all be gay
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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