Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
