these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
one might say we're banned from that church
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
