i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Come see our sink grown plant.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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