Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
