A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
All I want is dick and wine.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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