Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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