Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just high enough for therapy.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
