I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
