Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
